Knights in White Satin

For the first day in FOREVER it has not rained. It was warm and sunny and much wonderful, not to mention the grass had dried out. I had not planned on cutting the grass when I got home today but when I pulled into the drive The Boy was back at the house. Not a bad thing but I had just went to the store and I did not want to share with him. If I keep feeding him he will never stay at his apartment. I had to think of something quick. The one thing he hates more than carrots is mowing the grass. I AM BRILLIANT!!! I ran in and threw some shorts on and some shoes, cause mowing in bare feet is just stupid, and out I went to the lawn mower. The Boy was nice and did follow me. He also sat and watched as I started it up. It was ok...all part of my evil plan. I planned on making a few passes then fake an ankle twist so he would have to finish the lawn. Much guilt was about to be laid down. Not to mention I would get the lawn done and I could sneak my food in while he was distracted. Just as I was about to twist there was a roar from behind me. I looked up and there was a knight on a white steed come to save me. Que the music

I am so not making this up.

One of the town cops was sitting in my yard, on his ridding lawn mower asking if he could cut my grass. Can I just say this was the sexiest thing I have seen in a LONG time. He was beautiful. Actually he could have been Leatherface and I would have still almost fainted from delight. Too bad my knight is married, has an adorable little boy and is around 15 years younger than I am. Mr. Sweetie Cop...good lord I bet he would die if he saw that *L*...was nice enough to cut my whole yard for me. He did in 15 minutes what would have taken me an hour or more. I swear I just want to walk across the street and hug his dad and tell him that he did such a good job raising a nice boy and I can only hope that my guys turn out half as good as his did.

I was so excited that I had to call Pissy and tell him this story. Pissy was PISSY about it. He said he use to always cut the grass and not once did I ever call him sexy. Well DUH it's because he had to cut it he didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart. Silly man.

So here I sit, the chirp of crickets, the hum of the air conditioner, and the smell of fresh cut grass. Could life get any better?

I think not!!!

Bitch, Gripe For The Day

Holy f'ing french fries, is it too much to ask for half way decent customer service? I am borderline pissed off right now. I have a HUGE swap that I'm in. I am so excited about this swap that I can not even begin to tell you. I have planed and thought out and re-planed what I am doing and I finally decided on bathbombs and a salt bar. Of course I wanted an out of this world scent for these and I remembered back that I had some luscious smelling hair conditioner that just made me swoon when I opened it so that was the scent I wanted. I contacted the lady who made the conditioner and she steered me in the right direction to order.

On May 9th I ordered $68 worth of FO's from this lady. It was 3 separate scents. I paid by PayPal so I knew it would have to make it's way through my bank before it was shipped. I eagerly watched my account so I would know when it would go through. I just knew that I would have my scents for the Memorial Day Weekend so that I could start putting together my bathbombs...oh I only have around 300 of them to make for the swap and a few other things that I have going on.

I waited, I waited, I tapped my foot. Finally on the 14th paypal sent me a notice saying my payment had gone through. I was SO Excited. I just knew by the 15th or 16th my stuff would be shipped. I kept checking the back porch for my wonderful little fedex box that I knew would be showing up. Ya know what? It's the 28th and Im still damn well waiting. Yes, I emailed her and was told, "oh sorry I never received that order." YOU NEVER RECEIVED IT? Now where in the hell did you think a $68 came from? Did you just think I liked you a lot and was sending you money for the hell of it? Then she didn't have my mailing address. Ok fine, I sent that and got an e-mail on friday that said my FO's would be shipped out the next day.

Still no tracking number. Honestly I'm just fed up with it so last night I wrote an e-mail asking if it had been shipped, if there was a tracking number if it was ever going to be shipped. I even put in there if it had not been shipped to just refund my money and we would call it even...meaning I would not air my dirty laundry out in public. Low and behold I got a refund announcement in my email this morning. Imagine my shock when I looked at it and it was for $8.99 and a nice...yes Im being sarcastic because she could have damn well at lest e-mailed me... note on Paypal saying that she only had 8 oz of the sweet pea.

Guess what....the sweat pea was the one that I really wanted for my huge swap. Now what pissed me off is she didn't e-mail me and ask me if I wanted the 8 oz or not she just assumed that it would be ok. It's not. I do not want my sweet pea from two separate vendors....because now Im going to have order more from someone else. I don't care what you say the scents never smell the same coming from two different people. I want my sweet pea in one bottle dammit. Yes, Im sure that 8 oz will more than likely be enough but what if my soap screws up, What if I spill. I ordered 16 oz dammit and I want it all from one place. Am I asking too much???

Why, oh why did I just not order from Kangaroo Blue? I love KB. They process my order in a day. They ship FAST. They are wonderful about answering questions. They do not send me snarky comments back. In fact, when I go to Chicago, I might just walk around and spontaneously hug the KB people because I love them so much....ok I have lost it and I'm really off the whole bitch moan point.

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS I WILL NEVER ORDER FROM ANYONE BUT KB AGAIN....yeah yeah yeah leave me alone I'm having a huge Scarlett O'Hara moment.

Back to my point....if you screw up at least send me a nice e-mail explaining your poor customer service. I am not an unfeeling bitch...most of the time....and if you have good reason for ignoring my $68 order then I will take that into consideration before I air OUR dirty laundry.

Alll Byyyy Myself

My nest is empty. My baby birds are gone. My locks are so fixing to be changed!! I love my boys. Honestly, they are beautiful children but I have found that I love them even more now that they are out of my house. At first I was horrified that my oldest was moving out. True, he doesn't have a job and is going to be living with a stripper and her boyfriend...I swear I am not making this up...but you know, the boy has to spread his wings. Now he has only been gone for the weekend....please god make it last more than a month...but I love this feeling of FREEDOM. Is it wrong that my idea of freedom is being able to walk nekkid from the bedroom to the kitchen for a drink? It was also nice to buy a bag of M&Ms on Friday and there are still some left today. So I'm easy.

Yes, I miss the boy. I miss having someone other than the dog to talk to but I do love the fact that he has ventured out into the world...ok so he is only 4 blocks away...to find his way. I think that this might be a good thing for both of us. He is going to have to grow up and I'm going to have to entertain myself. What does one do when they are all alone? I guess that is what I'm going to find out.

Am I ok. Yeah, I'm ok. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm scared....I'm ready. I'm not sure what I'm ready for but I'm ready. I guess I'm fixing to find out if there really is life after a the kids grow up.

The Cat Came Back

I thought he was a goner!!

I let the boys out tonight just like I always do. Two of my cats can roam outside but the others have to just dream from the mud room. Well Biggie never travels far. He is a patio kitty....because that is where the nip is....Biggie is my huge lovey boy who will do anything for nip. He also refuses to share, the nip is all his. He will do anything for nip which means I can pick him up and love him as much as I want as long as I have a little stash for him. Ummm....yeah I guess that does make me his dealer.








Now Tank, on the other hand, is a huge pain in my ass. He loves to roam the neighborhood. He thinks he is king of all he sees. He is nosy and bossy but so dang cute that you just want to squish him. I wouldn't suggest squishing him because he has this no touchie thing going and he growls and pitches a fit if he doesn't want love. Lord help you if he wants love and you are not paying attention. Mr. Demanding is all over you.


So I let these two out to enjoy the evening with me and when it was time to go in Tank refused. He would do that run thing from me. He would run 4 feet then stop and wait to see what I would do. Well what I did was go inside and shut the door on him. I am NOT running after a cat. It's bad enough the dog makes me run after her, I just find it a bit much to chase the cat knowing that I will not catch him. So I left him. Well, he showed me. What did he do? He left me. I could not find him anywhere when I would go out and call him. From 8:00 until 10:00 he was MIA. I was near tears. I thought boogers had got my cat. I called and called and called. I even talked baby talk to try and lure him back...10 to 1 the little f'er was in the bushes laughing his kitty ass off at me. I ran the can opener which sent the rest of the tribe into hysterics. Too bad Kitty Tribe we have no wet food right now. I whistled the High Hopes song and still no Tank. I decided to sit outside and update my blog, mainly about how someone had stole my cat and how sad I was when I looked up and that dang cat was sitting on the patio table watching me. I have no idea how long he had been there but there he was.

I do hate that cat some days.


I scooped him and and squeezed him hard and gave him a kiss. He squeezed me back by sinking his claws into me...I'm sure it was a hug and he didn't mean to draw blood..and gave me a kiss on my shoulder...Honestly, it really was just a love bite. I was just so happy to see him I didn't care if he was hissing and growling and in a kicking frenzy when I took him to the house....no no really it was his in arms happy dance. So my boy is all safe and warm inside. All the rest of the tribe has gathered around the King to welcome him home and to give him a bath because....well duh...cause he is the king. Me?? I'm outside trying to get the bleeding to stop before I head in to bed.


Even with his quirks I love my little ratty ole King Kitty.

Name Change

I swear I am going to change my blog name to Life From The Patio. I LOVE my patio. LOVE IT. Tonight I wandered out there with my dinner and my laptop. It is just so relaxing even if I do have to deal with the neighbors talking....in really low voices where I can not hear what they are saying! Speak up dammit....and listen to some baseball game.

Can I just say right here that I am not a big baseball fan. I like going to the games, don't get me wrong but I just go for the food. My mom trained me right. There is wonderful food at the park...if you can afford it.

Ok enough about baseball.

So a really cool thing happened today. My mom called to tell me that my dead grandmother was in her kitchen....Im so not making this up.....and that she was a big freaked out about it and wanted to know what to do. I told her to find the spot where the smell was the strongest and walk into it with her eyes closed and say, "I love you mama and tell daddy I said hi and please don't let bad things happen to Ang and the boys.....a girl has to cover her butt....." and that grandma would leave her alone for awhile. That was not the cool thing. That was more of the umm, honestly my mom is FINE thing. The cool thing is she said that while she was running from grandma....she went room to room to get away from her....she got a call from a lady in Ballground Georgia who was looking for some postcards that my dad had made.

My dad loved to take pictures. He loved to go on the back roads and take shots of.....stuff. He would ride and ride and ride just trying to get something unusual. Well on his wanders he found a little BBQ place. Just for the heck of it he took a picture of the place then had it made into postcards. I'm sure I knew about all this but I guess I forgot. Now Dad loved his pictures. All the kids had them. I still have two in my living room. Dad always wanted that perfect shot. He dreamed of being a big time photographer. So my mom was beside herself when the lady asked if there were any more post cards. Mom explained that Dad had died about a year ago and that she had not found anymore in his stuff. She asked the lady how she had heard of my dad and the lady said that she had found the post card on Ebay. This thrilled my mom to no end. Ok it thrilled me too. It seems that someone in Texas has it for sale for $7. Makes me wonder how it got all the way out there but not so much to buy the card.

So let me present the card...it's not pretty but.....

I might just have to have someone bid on it so my mom wont be disappointed if it doesn't sell. Yes, the things I do for love.

Well the bugs are out and the cat wants in so I think it's time for bed...hmmm wonder if I could get the bed out here...I have really gone patio crazy.

Off to dream of my bedroom patio...night all

Peaceful, Easy Feeling....

Can I say again how much I love my patio? Why did it take me 8 years to discover it? It's such a beautiful night here. It's not to windy or to cold. The only light around me is the glow from the laptop and the bug candle but if I look up, in the distance, I can see the church steeple lit up. I wonder if the owls are out there. We have an owl family that has been there for ages and it's just such a hoot ...snort...get it....hoot...*cough*... to catch sight of them. I do really love small town life. Other than the occasional car passing by the night is just quiet. You can hear a dog here or there, the mummer of the neighbors tv but that is about it. I'm really sitting here waiting for the train to pass by. I think the train is my favorite part of living here. I love to hear he rumble and it makes me smile to hear the whistle blow and believe me the engineer is big on the whistle. There are a lot of little side streets that cross the tracks and he hits every one of them. My Granddad was a railroad man and when I hear that whistle I think of him. It's a bit bitter sweet

So now why am I outside at 10:00 pm on a Sunday night? Well, I'm running away from responsibility. The other day at the Bookstore I was asked if I would lead a book discussion group on The Twilight series. Silly me said YES because I love to talk about books and to talk about books with other folks who love to talk about books has to be one of the best things in life. Well what I didn't take into account is the fact that I had not read this book. Not a big deal, I would just snag the book and do some reading and I would be all set. I was not prepared for this book at all. Remember that my vampire reading has been Laurell K. Hamilton and Christopher Moore not to mention Ann Rice. Twilight is a bit bland up against those. For the first 100 pages I was struggling with it. I felt like an adult listening in to a 16 year old life. I was fighting this the whole way. Now I was really stuck because I couldn't back out of the book discussion but then again how can you hold a discussion on a book you find weak and semi kind of hate?

One of my co-workers handed me the answer today at break. We were discussing this and the comment was made on how the book would feel to a 13 year old. That right there was my answer. For just a little bit I have to forget that I'm 43 and that I have already felt all these emotions. I have to go back to when I was 13, before first love, to that time in my life when prince charming was going to appear and love was very innocent. To be honest once I started thinking like that the book became a lot easier to read. When I was 13 I would have loved this book. I would have longed for the romance, the anticipation of that first kiss. I would have dreamed of a boy just like Edward. Someone who would have been there for me and protected me but also was that bad boy dangerous type. Oh yes, I would have been all into this love story. The good thing is that by letting go a bit and just reading I have, in a way, got into the story. At least now I can honestly say I know what all the hype is about. Now the trick is going to be keeping this frame of mind for 2 more books. If all of a sudden I go all boy crazy y'all slap me ok?

All in all it was a pretty good weekend. I do really feel like I spend all my time at the bookstore. I think in the next couple of weeks I'm going to start putting in for either Friday or Sunday off just to get some me time. Not to mention I need to work in the yard. The Boy does cut the grass for me but there are things that he doesn't do like trimming. That and he cuts fast so he tends to miss things like all the grass around the strawberry patch. I also have my tomatoes planted so as soon as it warms up and they get big enough they will need to go outside and be tended too. I am so not an outside garden type person but for some reason I just think I have to do this. It's ok I will be back to my right mind come July when it's so damn hot I can't even think.

Wow I'm going to have to wrap things up because right now I'm just to dang relaxed to even write. I think it's time to just shut down and enjoy the night....that and I have to let the dog out before she tears the door down. For some reason the patio is hers too and I can not give up a chance for her to spend quality time with me. Maybe she will like me a little more if I let her share my happy space.

Night all

Oh What A Beautiful Morning....

I am such a happy camper. This morning started off rough. I received a nice little phone call that, for one, woke me up then proceeded to piss me off. I was about 4 notches past mad, it was that bad. In fact I was so mad that I could not go back to sleep. Yup, it was that bad. I drug myself out of bed and made a pot of coffee then let the dog out. She took off around the house so I had to go after her. Not sounding so good now is it? I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw this.

I had forgot that it was out there what with all the rain we had been getting. A few weeks ago the boys were messing around outside when I came home. I told them that there was a CD shelf out by the street and that I wanted it for my soap stuff. Now, honestly, I was just kidding. I just have a thing about going through other folks trash for some reason. It seems that my boy child does not have this problem. Oh yes, he got the CD rack for me but on his way home he spotted a patio set...on the side of the road. One chair looked like a car had hit it but the other three were in perfect condition. Cushions were included as well as a cute glass top table. With a little help from his friends this lovely addition came to live at my house.

This morning has been the first time that it has not been raining or that I haven't had to head to work so I got to enjoy the find. What a wonderful creation this table for the outside is. Who would have thunk that sitting out in the early morning with a cup of coffee and your laptop could promote such inner peace. I'm guessing it's the fact that I'm outside in my jammies that is the key but that is just my theory. I drank my coffee, I e-mailed my mother, I took pictures of my patio set, I played with the cat, I read my stupid teen-age vampire romance book but most of all I just enjoyed sitting there.

Now the bad thing about this is that the patio is in need of fixing up. I need to sweep it off and plant lots of plants more so than just the pot on the table which has seeds that need to hurry up and sprout so it doesn't look like I have a pot of dirt on my table not to mention force the boy to cut the grass out there. I think that with all those things done this could become my new happy place. I think that even without those things done it could still become my new happy place.

So with my new inner peace I am heading to the bookstore...lets hope that a full morning of sun and fun can withstand any bookish drama.

Promises, Promises

I really need to get better with this blog thing. I swear I have good intentions but some how I just never get around to writing it all down.

Ok I do have a funny ex story. I called Pissy the other day to grump about something and to see how his flight was from CO to TX. He was all in a ruffle I swear. He made me promise not to laugh at him if he told me something. I did my best to promise but he knows how I am so it didn’t really count. He said that he got on the flight fine and that he found his seat. He got settled in and pulled out his book when this really nice looking lady sat down beside him. Well instead of reading he struck up a conversation. She was really chatty with him and she kept touching his arm. He was THRILLED. This woman was flirting with him and his ego was huge. So they were chatting away and something came up about being single and the worst thing was eating right. The lady looked at him and said, “You would be really nice looking if you weren’t so HEAVY” Oh my god I would have bitch slapped someone if they said that to me. To make matters worse, Pissy is NOT heavy. He is what I consider normal.

Ok I did laugh but I was a bit horrified for him too. He asked me what I would have done and I had to answer honestly with I don’t know but the air guard on the plane would have been involved and there would have been blood. BITCH!! I know people just sometimes say things but damn that was cold.

Speaking of people just saying things….like how I swung into that one…..today at work I was sitting at my desk with my shoes off. Since the bosses are away my huge pleasure is walking around with no shoes on and not having to worry about it. So anyway I'm sitting there and one of the Hens comes up behind me and asked me to look something up. Ok fine I was flipping around trying to find what she wanted and she blurted out OH MY GOD YOUR FEET STINK. I wanted to crawl under the desk. Yes, my feet stink but can you not scream it out? Would it be to much to ask to just let it go and pretend that I smell like flowers and candy? Oh no, she went on and on about how my feet stink and the whole time I was trying to convince her that it wasn’t me. Didn’t work. I was caught, feet down so to speak, in stank. I really did just want to curl up in a little ball.

So with that I'm off to soak my stinky feet. Now I'm on a quest to have the bestest smelling feet in the world. As God as my witness my feet will never be stinky again!!!

Ok that was more than likely a lie but nothing like a bit of Scarlet for dramatics!

Oh What A Night

Mothers Day came early to Casa de Flynn (Cinco de Mayo, Baby) and my boy took me out to dinner and a movie to show just how much he loved me. First he stuffed me with Sushi...Nothing says Cinco de Mayo like sushi...then we went to see Iron Man. It was such a great night and the movie was excellent. Ok, secret confession, I have always had a teen crush on Robert Downey Jr. Now I have that old lady crush on him. It's the eyes, holy smokes and Jesus save me from those bedroom eyes. *fanning myself madly*

The other good news is the boy also got his income tax check. This affects me because I had $1.95 in the bank to last me until Friday and now I have the boys income tax check in the bank. It is there for safe keeping but it is nice to know that if I have to get gas I can and float him until Friday. We kind of do that for each other. He helps me, I help him. Sometimes it works and most of the time it doesn't but we give it a good try.

Work in hell was good today too. *gasp* can you believe I said that. Everyone was bitchy at everyone but me. Jeesh I do love when I am not the slow gazelle on the savannah. I don't know if it was just every one's mood or if it was the fact that I didn't work at the Bookstore this weekend and was well rested but what ever it was it felt nice. I felt relaxed. I was in a good mood. I was me again. Wow, that was a scary sentence.

Now since I have had a full night and a full belly I think I'm going to leave it here. I going to go turn the lights out and dream of....hell my luck it will be of the little robot guy that kept getting Tony Stark with the fire extinguisher. Ok that just makes me laugh so I'm going to bed with a smile on my face for the first time in a lot of weeks.

Night all....sweet dreams

Hodge Podge of Me

I love cantaloupe. Maybe love is to mild of an emotion. I LOVE cantaloupe. I think of cantaloupe all day, I dream of cantaloupe all night, I want to eat cantaloupe nekkid, off the sweaty stomach of an equally nekkid man…cause it would not be the same if he had a shirt on and he was sweaty….but hell I would eat it then too. I don’t need flowers, just bring me cantaloupe and I'm yours. Easy? Well, duh, yes! Now the weird thing is this obsession with cantaloupe just started last year. Up until then I hated it. I hated the smell, the look, the icky seeds inside that looked like snot and made me gag when I saw them. I guess I had one of those taste bud changing moments. So now my question is, if I changed to like cantaloupe, did I lose my like of something else? Hmm…maybe I should start eating more to see if there is something I now do not like. Justification people…it’s all about the justification!

I am so hooked on Dancing With The Stars. I keep watching it over and over. I want the dresses but deep down in side, what I really want are the SHOES. What the hell is this? I am not a shoe person. I have three pairs of shoes and could care less which ones I wear. I sit and watch the women dancing and I want those shoes. I want the heels, I want my feet to look that good in them, I want my feet to move like that when I wear them. Ok not so much but I do really just want the shoes.

Wisteria. I think that is my favorite thing of spring. I have this little wisteria bush on my side yard that has just burst into blooms. I just can not keep my face away from these booms. *snork* Ok I was going to say I couldn’t keep my face out of this bush but I turned into a 13 year old boy and got the giggles over it. I think I need wisteria soap and lotion. I think I need this now. I feel a soaping session coming on this weekend.

Nothing makes me smile more than the cats on nip. I discovered that some of the plants from last year were making an appearance this year so I picked a bit and let the cats go wild. They were too funny. They were rolling and loving it all over the living room and they looked so sad when it was gone. Hurry up and grow little cat nip so that I can drive my kitties wild. Ok I lied, something does make me smile more. I love when the cats are all nipped up and they crawl in bed with me. They are all over me and the attention does my heart good. Sure I have to bribe my cats to love me but hell, they are cats!

I’m really annoyed with something and someone in my life. I’m leaving it at that because some things do not need to be out on the internet. I’m just saying, person, you know I'm annoyed and it’s up to you to make the first move because I wont. Yes, I’m that mad…and petty!

I need a new camera. I really really really need one. This scares me to even think about. Have you looked at cameras? Holy smokes and Jesus there are a ton of them. Do I want a point and shoot or should I take the next step and get a CAMERA? Oh yes, I dream of interchangeable lens, and filters, OH how I need filters, and classes, lots and lots of classes where I can talk to other people about my camera and why I decided to get that one. My problem is I will read and re-read and looks some more and read and go back and forth until I don’t want a camera anymore because I'm scared.

I have issues.

I'm having a lonely moment in life right now. I get tired of coming home to an empty house. I hate not having someone to talk to about my day. On the bright side, the dog is starting to have more to do with me. Maybe she just feels sorry for me because when I get home I talk to HER.

I have discovered the dog loves me a lot when I bring out the flying chunkit. This is a nylon frisbee thing that we have had for a whole week and she has not managed to tear up yet. She did put a hole in it but the thing still hovers. I can’t help but laugh when it hovers because she does jump for it and catches it in mid air. Seeee this is why I need a camera. It would be a great picture!

Would it be wrong to run up to the store and buy more cantaloupe?

DWTS is almost most over and it’s time for me to get some sleep. I need to be on my toes tomorrow just to keep everyone happy. That’s my job…I am the happy maker *snort*
Honestly, that is me. I always try and keep the peace, to not rock the boat, and to always be the peacemaker. Just one of my quirks.

Anyway, time for bed. Sleep well. I know I will...cause I will be dreaming of cantaloupe!