Sunday, March 16, 2008

I Lost It

Today I had one of those really odd customers at the bookstore. At first she had not a clue what she wanted. She had me stand there while she called around 15 people to see if her daughter would like a Gossip Girl book. With each phone call she talked about anything and everything except the Gossip Girl book then at the end of the 20 minute (ok it was really only about 5 but it seemed like 20) conversation she would throw that question out that. Funny enough, no one knew the answer. She finally decided to just get the first book in the series because she didn’t really think that her daughter had read them.

Whatever lady, it’s 3 PM and it’s time for me to go home so here is your book.

Oh no, she was not finished with me. She then handed me the book and said, “here you carry this I have a charlie horse.” Ummm, aren’t Charlie Horses usually in your leg?? I kept smiling and I took the book an waited for my next set of instructions because I was half way convinced that she was just fucking with me.

For the next book, she was looking for something with buildings in it. I almost rolled my eyes but I didn’t, I kept smiling. (I think that smiling might be my super hero power) She wanted not just a book on buildings but a cheap book on buildings. Fine, there are a ton of books over in bargain that might work so off we went. I was in the lead with a smile pasted on my face and lets not forget I get to carry her book for her. She was behind me on the phone, again, with someone who she was telling all about the fight that she had with her mother. I was walking rather fast but mainly in hopes of ditching her someplace between Young Adult and Bargain. (I did think of it but honestly I would never do that...maybe)

Finally we get over to bargain (I swear it seemed like a 5 mile hike) and thank the heavens above the first book we looked at was a book on great buildings of the world AND the thing was only $5.99. The heavens opened and the angles did sing because the lady was all over that book. She ooed and ahhhed over it, I think at one point she even gave it a little hug then she turned to me and said, “here carry this one too”. Geesh lady are we going steady now???

Now for the fun part, she turned to me, looked me dead in the eye and said, “ok, now I want a current best seller but it has to be in paperback.” A current best seller on what?? She didn’t care it just had to be a best seller. By this time it was 3:15, I got off at 3:00 and I was slightly less amused then I was when I started this adventure. Yes, my smile was even faltering a little bit. My brain went a bit to mush and for the life of me I could not think of a current best seller that had gone to paperback but my saving grace was that we do have a display with all the current hardback best sellers set up. Off we went again with me in the lead and her behind me on back on the phone telling someone that she was buying books for three people and that they were going to love them. As we are walking over to the display Im trying my best to make eye contact with someone, anyone, that works there so that I can tag team off and go home. No such luck.

We get to the best seller display and she reaches for the #1 book which is Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. She turns it over and over in her hands, She looks at it top to bottom and even sideways then she opens it up, shoves it at me and said, “Here you read what it’s about to me.” SAY WHAT LADY??? This is where I freaked out a little bit. I got all nervous, I was put on the spot. I did not like this lady very much at all but I was still smiling only now I’m pretty sure it was more of an insane type, get me the hell out of here smile rather than a normal, I’m enjoying myself, type smile. I was stuck, I had no choice but to start reading and this is where I made a horrible discovery.

I have lost my ability to read out loud. I guess since I am no longer in school and forced to read out loud and since the boys are grown and I don’t get to read to them I have lost my read out loud ability. Let us not forget that I’m all nervous too so that did not help. I sounded like an illiterate buffoon. I was stumbling over words, I was stuttering, hell, I was almost to the point where I peed my pants when finally she took pity on me and said, “its ok I will take it anyway.” I felt like throwing myself at her feet and explaining that I read all the time and that I was was one of the most well read employees in the books store. People tease me over the amount of books that I read. But oh no, now I will always be the lady who cant read at the bookstore!! (in my mind and I know I have issues)

Yes, I have been judged and I have been found lacking (yeah yeah mostly by me but still) so now I have to step up and fix this. I wonder how the cats are going to react to Stephen King, but then again they are insane enough so maybe a nice mellow romance would be better for them! Really now, what does one read to a heard of cats?

No comments: